Novak Djokovic continued his trend of taking two hopeful steps forward only to find himself shuffling a step back as he crashed out of the Barcelona Open 6-2 1-6 6-4 to no.140 Martin Klizan.

12 years after his last appearance in Barcelona, Djokovic arrived seemingly armed, for the first time in a while, brimming with the virtues of hope and vitality after recording two victories in Monté Carlo before a positive three-set defeat to Dominic Thiem. The week was billed as a success, his decision to reunite with his old coach Marian Vajda all but hailed as a touch of genius, and certainly the move that would most likely propel him back to the top of the game.

The late decision to enter Barcelona was supposed to be about consolidating the feeling of progress and picking up matches. Instead, he finds himself having to pick himself up all over again.

From the beginning of his first ever match on Pista Rafael Nadal, Djokovic looked like no amount of matches in the universe would suffice. He struggled with his movement, his forehand and the sheer notion of aggression. He crumbled on all big points, eventually finishing the match without saving a single break point. He conceded the set with one solitary winner.

The former number one found his range in the second set, serving well, directing returns deep and generally resembling the Novak Djokovic of old. But his breeze through the second set proved nothing but quick, efficient deception.

As the third set began, the Serb’s return left him, and he seemed afraid to unleash on his forehand. He held serve until, serving at 3-4 30-15, he moved to the net behind a short ball, lined up to swipe an easy forehand return winner, then blasted the ball into the net. Djokovic approached the net again on the following point, this time nervously pushing a volley when it needed to be swiped away. In a flash, his serve was broken. Shortly after, Djokovic’s 2018 record read 5-5.

The first question of Djokovic’s press conference began with a reporter relaying to Djokovic his surprise at the result, the fact that the former number one’s performance that hadn’t met his expectations. Djokovic’s response burst at the seams with sarcastic snark but flew high over the heads of the Spanish onlookers.

“Sorry I didn’t meet your expectations,” he said, before answering earnestly. “I’m also very hard on myself,” he said. “It wasn’t to be, and I couldn’t be at my level, I could only play at my level during the second set. The third was not that great. It’s tough to deal with this kind of loss, and matches.”

Unsurprisingly, Djokovic pinpointed the source of his woes as his inability to attain matches.

“I mean it’s a combination of things,” he said. Obviously, you can work very hard on the practice courts, but I haven’t had too many matches in the last 12 months. So yeah, it’s a lack of match play, lack of these kinds of situations. Hopefully, I can get some more in the future.”

The past eighteen months of Djokovic’s career has amounted to the constant unfulfilled anticipation of his return to the top of the game. When Djokovic underwent the “shock treatment” of firing his team last May, the decision was hailed in some quarters as an encouraging show of intent. When he hired Andre Agassi and Radek Stepanek, their praises were sung for months. When he headed off to the town of Eastbourne before Wimbledon, it was a sign of his unrelenting commitment. Now, he has re-added members of his classic team.

Even more than that, every single action has been scrutinized and used as a signifier of all future events. When he posted a picture of a smashed racquet last month, maybe, just maybe it revealed his intent and will that had been missing for so long.

It is clear that the only thing that will signify Djokovic’s undying commitment is Djokovic’s undying commitment. The only time his path back to the top of the game will be clear is when he is walking down it, winning matches like the player of old. No amount of decisions that seem smart on the surface can really reveal what is going on between Djokovic’s ears. His listless defeat to Klizan suggests that it’s time we stopped pretending that they do.